"It taste like eggs and poop"

I love hummus.  In fact, it’s number one on my list of awesome vegan friendly foods.  I eat it all the time.   My favorite lunch time fare is grilled pita bread layered with hummus and veggies.   Or, when I’m a feeling a bit peckish, I just dip some fresh peppers or those cute little baby carrots in its creamy goodness and I have a quick and healthy snack.   Needless to say, due to my addiction and the fact that a little tub of hummus runs me about $4 a pop I thought I would try my hand at making it myself.   Most recipes I found called for canned beans.  I really try hard not to use canned beans simply because of the amount of sodium found in most of them.  Of course, they do have organic, low sodium versions but those cans cost like $2 each.  Since the whole point of me making my own hummus is to save money, going that route would seem a little pointless. 

Now I consider myself a pretty avid bean cooker.  I have a nice, big shinny crock pot just for this purpose.  I cook all kinds of beans; black beans, pinto beans, mung beans, kidney beans, you name it bean, I’ve probably cooked it.  I have not, however, ever cooked chickpeas or garbanzo beans if you prefer.  In fact, I never really even liked the little things.  I remember eating one as a kid and thinking the same thing my son thought about my hummus, “It taste like poop.”  They also look like someone chopped the knuckles off a bunch of little babies.  It freaked me out a little bit.  This is the reason I have steered clear of them most of my adult life.  Imagine my surprise when I found out the most awesome food on the earth is actually made from these weird little buggers.   

In preparation for my venture into hummus land, I made sure to get all the best ingredients.  The dried chickpeas were easy enough to find but try as I might, I could not find Tahini paste anywhere.  That’s part of living in the south I guess.  Luckily, I was able to order a big jar from this hippie looking farm company that makes all kinds of raw and organic foods.  FYI:  if you don’t know what Tahini is, it’s basically ground up sesame seeds.  No, I don’t know how to pronounce it correctly and I always end up called it the “tai-hee-tee” sauce even though I am sure it is much simpler than that and it’s actually a paste not a sauce. 

 Everything else on the list, I already had in my pantry, all I had to do was soak the chickpeas overnight and then boil them the next day.  While the chickpeas were cooking, Dalton actually commented several times on how good they smelled.  He kept bugging me to make the hummus but as chickpeas take about 2 hours to cook, he had to wait.  Once they were done, I gathered all the ingredients and let Dalton throw everything in the blender.   Within a few minutes, I had a nice big container of the best stuff on earth.  Normally, hummus is severed cold but there was no way I was waiting another few hours just to taste this stuff.   I was in heaven.  Grant it, it wasn’t the best hummus I have ever eaten but this was my very first batch.  I’m sure over time, I will adjust a few things here and there until it is just right, but this stuff wasn’t half bad.  I was pretty proud of myself.  Than the moment of truth came, would the boy like it?  I dipped the spoon into the blender just enough to coat the back and nervously placed it in my 10 year olds hand.  Remember, he had been all excited to make this stuff.  He had been bugging me all day long, couldn’t wait to taste it because it sounded so awesome.  I just knew he would do me proud and love this stuff just as much as I did.  It felt like everything was in slow motion as he lifted the spoon to his mouth and smeared the hummus on his tongue.  He did that whole tongue smacking thing people do when they’re taste tasting something, looked up at me and said: 

                “It taste like eggs and poop.” 

                “It does not.”

                “Yeah it does.  It taste so bad, I would rather be shot to death than eat it.”

                “Really son, is it that serious?” 

                “Yeah, I’m gonna go play video games now.” 

A little piece of my soul died right there in that kitchen as I watched him toss the spoon in the sink and bounce away to his bedroom.  I had such high hopes too.   Oh well, at least he tried it, which is something I do have to give my son huge kudos for.  No matter what it is, he will at least give it a taste before he says he doesn’t like it.  I however, LOVE it and I am super excited that I have a huge tubberware bowl of it sitting in my fridge right now.  I will be living off the stuff for the next few days. 

If you’ve never tried hummus, I suggest you do.  I wouldn’t run out and buy all the stuff for it simply because Tahini is hard to find and well, I’d hate for you to waste good money on something that is just going to sit in your fridge.  Hummus has become increasingly popular so finding a tub of it at your local super market shouldn’t be too hard.  Now if you’ve already had hummus and truly understand the pure yummy power it possess, you probably already have your own little recipe; but I’m going to share mine with you anyways.  It’s a combination of several different recipes I’ve seen and just adjusted a few things to meet my specific taste.  For me, I love lemon so I add a bit more than someone else may normally would.  I’m also pretty sensitive to salt (I use Kosher by the way) and I only used ½ teaspoon instead of a full.  I personal prefer my olive oil blended into the hummus instead of drizzled over it like most recipes say to do.  Once you get the basic recipe down, it’s super easy to just have fun and play around with it. 

Humus Recipe

About 2-2 ½ cups chickpeas (one 19oz can if you’d rather not spend forever in the kitchen)

½ cup of reserved water (either from the pot or the can)

4 tablespoons lemon juice (I use more simply because I love lemon)

2 tablespoons tahini

2 cloves garlic, chopped

1 teaspoon salt

2-4 tablespoons of extra virgin olive oil

Cumin to taste

Put everything in a blender and just blend until smooth.  You can add more water as needed depending on how creamy you want it to be.  The great thing about hummus is that you can pretty much add whatever you want to it.  I have even see recipes where people use white beans or even black beans instead of chickpeas.  The only rule to ensuring it is true hummus is you have to have the tahini.  There are lots of recipes out there without it, but for me, it just lacks that bit of jazz that makes hummus, well hummus. 

Just because the hummus was a misfire with Dalton doesn’t mean I will stop trying to get him to eat more vegan fare.  He already loves Boca chicken patties and he really enjoys green smoothies.  The next thing he wants to try is vegan cheese.  For a 10 year old, that’s pretty awesome. 

I should be ashamed of myself......

So it's been exactly 2 months and 2 days since I last posted to this blog.  I know, I should be ashamed of myself.  I was super excited when I first started this and I made plans to blog all the time, at least once a week because I just knew that this was the one thing that was going to keep me on track. 

Well, I fell off track, hard. 

 Sadly, life got in the way and I tripped right over it.  I didn't just trip; I stumbled, head first and landed smack dab on my face, spread eagle style.  FYI, it stings a little.   I have wasted two months doing everything but what I originally set out to do.  I haven't even used that little bug thing I got.  It's so bad that I am currently, right now, unable to think of the actual name for the device that was supposed to be the main weapon in my fight against the bulge.  Again, I know, I should be ashamed of myself and I am.  But in an attempt to make myself feel just a tad bit better about the whole thing, let me tell you what's been going on during the past two months.

 First off, I have lost 14 pounds during this time of hiding.  I don't know how it happen because I honestly did not follow any of my plans.  I did not exercise; I did not cut out the fries, although I did cut back just a little.  I didn't stop making a quick run to BK for a veggie burger or to Wendy's for a hamburger deluxe, hold the cow and mayo.  I am still drinking tons of coffee including my bi-weekly donation to a certain trendy house of java whose name cannot be spoken at this time for fear it will force me to abandon my current mission and mosey on down there for an overpriced caffeine fix.  I still stay up all night, sleep half the day and yes, smoke cigarettes.  I know, I know, I should be in time out right thinking about my behavior instead of sitting here, writing this blog.  But it is what it is.  I did what so many other people who start out with dreams of living a healthy active lifestyle do.  I let old habits creep back into my life, rather quickly actually.  Again, I hang my head in shame over this sad turn of events. 

So, how did I lose 14 pounds?  Well, first, I have to say cutting out all animal products in your diet, even if you still sustain life with cruelty free junk food, is going to have an effect on your body.  While I haven't been doing any formal exercise so to speak, I have been up and about more than usual.  Everyone knows by now that Johnny will be coming home from deployment next month.  Please take a moment to squeal with pure delight with me. 

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!! 

Well, because he has been gone for so long I wanted to make sure that he came home to a comfortable, cozy place.  To me, this means redecorating the entire house.  When I was working before, I was never really home so I never actually noticed how absolutely bland my house was.  Now that I am home all the time, I can see that this poor house needed a little love.  Since Johnny was so happy with the makeover I did on the spare room, I decided to try my hand at decorating the entire house.  In case you didn't know, I turned our spare "storage room" into a man friendly game room/man cave decorated with hints of his alter mater, Georgetown University.  It was such a treat for me to see him, in there, laid out on the futon, completely relaxed playing video games.  He had just return from war after all and I wanted to make sure he was able to completely de-stress.  Now that he's about to finish his tour, I want him to come home to a relaxing environment that actually looks like a home and not just a house that we live in.  So I made a few changes here and there.  I rearranged furniture, tried to come up with fresh new window treatments, and got a cool new dual shower head thingy that is oh so freakin' awesome.  I even bought a new TV.  I wasn't able to change to much because well, we rent and sadly, I am not able to do anything cool like paint or tear down this horrible wallpaper, but I think I did pretty good with what I could.  Although redecorating doesn't actually get the old heart rate going, it does require me to get my fat butt off the couch, which is what I think helped contribute to the mystery weight loss. 

My second excuse for being a bum the last two months is an unexpected work load during my summer semester.  Because it was summer, I didn't want to take to many classes.  This is the first year that I would be able to spend all day, every day with Dalton instead of working 10 hours a day.  I thought I was doing myself a favor by only taking 2 classes.  Sadly I did not know that my psychology class would involve so much reading and writing.  Now don't get me wrong, I love writing, obviously, and I would read for a living if I could, but right now I pretty much spending 4 hours a day, reading boring information and then writing about it.  If that wasn't enough, we are required to participate in a discussion board every week.  We have to make an original thread and then respond to at least 10 of our classmates’ threads.  Oh, but that's not the best part.  Not only do you have to do all this posting but you have to make sure the post is something the instructor would consider "good quality".  If she doesn't like it, it doesn't count towards your 10 and that will lower your grade.  Sweet, huh? 

And finally, I will attempt to lessen my guilty by simply proclaiming it’s SUMMER!!  Dalton is here and since I don't get to see him all the time, I am just addicted to hanging out with him.  Because it has been so hot, we spend hours watching cartoons or playing tattoo parlor.  I actually have a pretty funny story about that game that I will tell you about on a later date.  I also know more about Dragon Ball Z than any grown women should ever know.  We've attempt to take Bailey for a walk a few times but the heat was just too much and after only a few blocks we were forced to turn around and head back to the comfort of the air conditioner.  We do play the Wii (I suck at baseball by the way) but I know we could be doing more.  After all, I did spend all that money on those workout DVDs and that horribly scary P90x system.  He, of course, never sits still.  If he's not doing acrobats on my couch, he's playing chase with Bailey during commercial breaks.  His cousin, which is his best friend and who I swear he gets more excited about hanging out with than me, has already been here for one of many sleep overs.  They spent the two days running around the house shooting foam bullets at each other and creating Lego masterpieces.   Now if I had his energy, I'd be as thin as a pogo stick.  However, I'm old and I just can't seem to mustard up the motivation to be in constant motion like him.  For the one week I was motivated enough to get up and sweat a little, I ended up breaking myself; which seems to be a running theme with me. 

So that brings us up to today.  I wouldn’t even be sitting down writing right now if it wasn’t for someone sending me a message asking me when I was going to blog again.  After I got over the initial shock that people actually read this and gasp, enjoy my writing, I realized I am doing the one thing that has sabotages me my entire life.  I allowed myself to get caught up in everything else and played the whole out of sight out mind gig.  I’ve made excuses for being unmotivated and plain out lazy.  Like I said in my first post, I am not perfect and I never will be.  This whole adventure is a learning process and I have to stop it with this whole all or nothing kind of thinking.  I have to be honest with myself and my flaws.   As of right now, I am dusting myself off and getting back into the race.  I may have a few boo boos from my colossal fall but I think I’ll be okay. 

With that, I will sweep up my pile of excuses, put them in the get over it bin and meet you back here tomorrow.  No, really I will.  Don’t give me that look, I will, I promise.  After all, I’ve got a few more stories to tell you including the one about the awesome hummus I’m about to make.  It will be Dalton’s first experience with the dip and I have a feeling he just might actually like it, maybe.